Thus, the witches must wait for the right time to stab that backstabber back!Īnd just like that, we are exactly where we left off in episode three, when Michael and Mallory both showed flashes of their real powers to each other in a moment of fear and rage. Cordelia calms Madison down, explaining that they can’t kill Dinah because that would expose their plan. (Although, truth be told, I’d take a talk show either way!) Enraged, Madison shares this information with Cordelia and Myrtle by walking into the room and saying, “I’d like permission to burn a witch.” I hope someone ruins my wedding with this line. I hope that when I achieve success in life, my friends’ first reaction isn’t that I sold my soul but rather that I deserved it. As Madison drops off Coco and Mallory in her coven carpool, she sees an advertisement for Dinah Stevens’s (Adina Porter) new talk show, which she realizes the voodoo villainess received after making a deal with the Devil. The OG Madison drops them off at Gallant’s salon, where Coco gets the influencer haircut we grew to loathe in the season premiere. Mallory and Coco don’t recognize her but they do assimilate into their new roles with Mallory acting as the insecure assistant and Coco acting like… Madison. When Cordelia completes her spell, we immediately cut to Coco and Mallory in the back of a recklessly driven Uber, which we soon learn is manned by Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts). I think this is the only instance in modern history where the verbal barrage of a woman is “for her safety.” Furthermore, Coco’s new identity will verbally abuse Mallory to make her doubt her powers as the next Supreme. It’s here that Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) explains that Mallory (Billie Lourd) and Coco (Leslie Grossman) must be placed under an identity spell to suppress their magical abilities and ultimately save the world. The other witches are still hiding at Misty Day’s shack, or what I refer to as Shrek’s Luxury Condo™. Myrtle then kills the men, which is probably the only punishment any malevolent tech billionaire will see this century. This is when they inform Myrtle that the mind of Meade Bot (Kathy Bates) was erased so she doesn’t remember that Michael Langdon is the Antichrist. At first, Mutt and Jeff are hesitant to listen to Myrtle, but they change their tune when she puts them under a spell. Just another reason why I am ill-prepared for apocalypse, as the only thing I could offer bunker organizers is some free jokes and my collection of Tamagotchis. Wild to think that the fate of humanity rests in the hands of generational wealth. Standing before Mutt (Billy Eichner) and Jeff (Evan Peters), Myrtle demands that the bowl-cut billionaires make room in Outpost 3 for the St. A Google calendar invite is no match for Myrtle’s magic as she strolls past Venable, reminding her that purple is for royalty, not for middle management. Venable (Sarah Paulson), who refuses to let Myrtle into the office without an appointment. Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy) arrives at the Silicon Valley start-up currently orchestrating the apocalypse, not unlike our favorite tech company presently dismantling democracy. Let’s start with the beginning of the end. We did it, folks, we watched the greatest season of American Horror Story and lived to tell the tale.
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